Just a peek

Its long time since i posted anything here. I have been intending to post something technical here but i really have not got the time or the patience to do it yet. Maybe when i start working from home i will find more time and patience(he he) ;-). Before i go, i wrote this poem couple of years back(2004 to be exact), its called Feelings. It might not be a biggy for you but it certainly was for me when i wrote it

Feelings tearing me apart, bit by bit, I am not sure what to do now
To control them i want to, to show them i want to,
But unable to comprehend why I am unable to
Sometimes i ask my conscious the question, why me
and it shoots back asking why not you
If i show them , i will lose her
If i don't show them, i will lose myself
I immerse myself with thoughts of her beauty
and cry tears of blood with thoughts of failure
Why can't i be more strong like others
Why do i have to be so weak, so pathetic, so useless
why why, the question for which i have no answer
Keeps popping in my mind every now then
Disturbing my sleep, my peace of mind, my life
So many night's spent so lonely with despair
Nights that I have cried with no shoulders to spare
The only shoulders i need are far away
Too far too distant in the horizon, for me to reach them
I want to tell her everything, everything in my heart
But fear grips my throat real tight
what if i lose her, what if she rejects me
what if, what if, the question for which i have no answer
keeps popping in my mind every now then
Disturbing my sleep, my peace of mind, my life
Drying me, like the scorching sun sucks water out of a pond
She seems to be very essence of my life
made me happy, made me a stand up for myself
made me the man that I am today
Sad to know, she won't be mine tomorrow
One day my life will end, so will my misery
Don't know if misery will follow me to the netherworld
cause if it does, can somebody please help get it off me
where ever she is tommorrow, let her be happy
her happiness is what will make me happy
sadness will dwell deep within my heart
making me cry every now and then, but what else can be done
fate is our master, who rules without mercy.
Mercy, let me have mercy at the netherworld

Feel free to post comments/suggestions about this post. That's it for now gotta work on the progress dialog for my applicaton.

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