Frustrated with everything and other updates in life

Hey

Its me back, and right now i am basically frustrated about everything life. I have no idea why but i am just plain frustrated. Came back to pune today morning to start my usual job. Thankfully the work load is not much, since morning i have created 4 java files and pasted code from an old source file to the new one. This is what i have done since morning. Talk about goofing off in workplace. Since i don't have any immediate deadlines i can take it slow in office. But somehow i can't seem to take slow in personal life. I have got everything yet i have not got it. Just imagine, i got GP after 6 years but she is more 1000kms away from me and we meet once in 4 months and only for 4 hours. Since i landed in pune my health has been pretty bad, my body never got adjusted to the climate here. Every month, cold and fever and throat pain visit me and stay for sometime. I have gotten more than 10 injections in less than a year. And all of the injections have been antibiotics and exactly for the same reason.

As for exam updates, i finished 4 of them and i still have one paper left to complete. I honestly don't want to write my papers again EVER. I have started hating this exams over the years now. Granted it is partly my fault that i didn't study. But is it my fault the Madras university gave me sub standard study material. They proudly say they have long history of giving quality eduction. Total crap i tell you, the material is filled spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes. Every single page in the book contains at least one spelling or grammatical mistake. To top it all one can clearly see that the content has been lifted from other published titles. The stuff that i wrote in the exam is nothing but crap. The statistics paper that i wrote is filled with crazy formulas that i invented at exam time.

It seems strange, it was like yesterday when i was in school. I was not one of the best in school till 10th partly due to high population ratio in class. But in 11th and 12th i was really good, teachers used to appreciate my hard work and i got good marks. In 12th my academics touched an all time high, I used to be in the top 5 or at least 10 rank holders except the first term. In the first term i flunked my computer paper and for that i studied hard and got 196 out of 200 for the final term computer paper. I was really really good with studies, i was....

I joined college and lost it all, i barely scratched the passmark in my first year and after that it has been down hill road for me as far as academics is concerned. I didn't give a damn whether i passed or not or i was not bothered about the marks i scored about. College was all about meeting new friends and having a lot of fun. Fun i did i have and the price i paid for it was a very badly scoring mark sheet. My so called close friend managed to study well, even though he preached the opposite. He actually got a first class and me another guy had to slog another extra 3 months to finish our final year papers. It was bad, really bad, i had lost all interest in studies. The only interest i had was learning computers, which has helped so far. It has got me where ever i am now and thank god i studied my computers well.

I am not sure what went wrong with MCA, i joined MCA in madras university with lot of high hopes and i didn't want to repeat the same mistakes that i committed in College. But it never was to be , i failed even worse in MCA. And today i have 5 papers as arrears and nothing to boast for academics except my 12th grade marks. Funny thing is i know what is wrong with my studies and what is that i am missing from my 12th. INTEREST spelt with a capital all along. I was not able to retain the interest that i had in school in college or in post graduation. I can always blame this on shoddy teaching methods adopted in my graduation and post-graduate classes. One classic example of my graduate teaching is the "professor" coming in the class and opens his book. He starts reading and asks the students to write down whatever he says. This was the Corporate Law paper they guy was supposed to take. Instead of explaining us the laws and all, he was vomiting everything he had studied (probably the previous night). How pathetic can professors get, i didn't bother to disturb coz i was too busy dreaming.

In school the teaching was so excellent, you could see the students looking forward for the accounts period. The maths teacher was not the best but she managed to make us understand everything in the syllabus. Ahhhh teaching for me has gone sub standard in B.Com and MCA. I remember the first period that i attended my MCA class. It was maths paper, she was teaching about Elements or something similar. There i was staring at the black board clueless as to what is being taught. The teacher hadn't bothered to ask the students as to what kinda maths background they came from. I personally came from a business maths background, which means there is less complexity when compared to the maths taught for engineering students. The end result after three attempts and a tuition class two days per week i was able to clear the paper in my 4th attempt. I can just keep going on and on and on and on about this shit teachers who taught me in MCA. Some of them are just plain pathetic freaks who couldn't construct a proper sentence in English. God help those who join Madras University. Take my advice don't join the correspondence division of Madras University. But if you have already joined, throw you material in the dustbin (that's their deserving place) and spend some bucks and buy the recommended reading material and don't bother attending any class, its not like those guys are going to teach you anything good. I am gonna retire for now, gotta work you see.I hope i finish some of the coding today at least for my conscience sake i need to finish it.

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