This is me and my room mate(Krishna Das) in one of the gates of Shaniwar Wada. Apparently in the olden times this gate was guarded by atleast 20 guards.
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| From Shaniwar Wada |
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| From Shaniwar Wada |
Hey
Its me back, and right now i am basically frustrated about everything life. I have no idea why but i am just plain frustrated. Came back to pune today morning to start my usual job. Thankfully the work load is not much, since morning i have created 4 java files and pasted code from an old source file to the new one. This is what i have done since morning. Talk about goofing off in workplace. Since i don't have any immediate deadlines i can take it slow in office. But somehow i can't seem to take slow in personal life. I have got everything yet i have not got it. Just imagine, i got GP after 6 years but she is more 1000kms away from me and we meet once in 4 months and only for 4 hours. Since i landed in pune my health has been pretty bad, my body never got adjusted to the climate here. Every month, cold and fever and throat pain visit me and stay for sometime. I have gotten more than 10 injections in less than a year. And all of the injections have been antibiotics and exactly for the same reason.
As for exam updates, i finished 4 of them and i still have one paper left to complete. I honestly don't want to write my papers again EVER. I have started hating this exams over the years now. Granted it is partly my fault that i didn't study. But is it my fault the Madras university gave me sub standard study material. They proudly say they have long history of giving quality eduction. Total crap i tell you, the material is filled spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes. Every single page in the book contains at least one spelling or grammatical mistake. To top it all one can clearly see that the content has been lifted from other published titles. The stuff that i wrote in the exam is nothing but crap. The statistics paper that i wrote is filled with crazy formulas that i invented at exam time.
It seems strange, it was like yesterday when i was in school. I was not one of the best in school till 10th partly due to high population ratio in class. But in 11th and 12th i was really good, teachers used to appreciate my hard work and i got good marks. In 12th my academics touched an all time high, I used to be in the top 5 or at least 10 rank holders except the first term. In the first term i flunked my computer paper and for that i studied hard and got 196 out of 200 for the final term computer paper. I was really really good with studies, i was....
I joined college and lost it all, i barely scratched the passmark in my first year and after that it has been down hill road for me as far as academics is concerned. I didn't give a damn whether i passed or not or i was not bothered about the marks i scored about. College was all about meeting new friends and having a lot of fun. Fun i did i have and the price i paid for it was a very badly scoring mark sheet. My so called close friend managed to study well, even though he preached the opposite. He actually got a first class and me another guy had to slog another extra 3 months to finish our final year papers. It was bad, really bad, i had lost all interest in studies. The only interest i had was learning computers, which has helped so far. It has got me where ever i am now and thank god i studied my computers well.
I am not sure what went wrong with MCA, i joined MCA in madras university with lot of high hopes and i didn't want to repeat the same mistakes that i committed in College. But it never was to be , i failed even worse in MCA. And today i have 5 papers as arrears and nothing to boast for academics except my 12th grade marks. Funny thing is i know what is wrong with my studies and what is that i am missing from my 12th. INTEREST spelt with a capital all along. I was not able to retain the interest that i had in school in college or in post graduation. I can always blame this on shoddy teaching methods adopted in my graduation and post-graduate classes. One classic example of my graduate teaching is the "professor" coming in the class and opens his book. He starts reading and asks the students to write down whatever he says. This was the Corporate Law paper they guy was supposed to take. Instead of explaining us the laws and all, he was vomiting everything he had studied (probably the previous night). How pathetic can professors get, i didn't bother to disturb coz i was too busy dreaming.
In school the teaching was so excellent, you could see the students looking forward for the accounts period. The maths teacher was not the best but she managed to make us understand everything in the syllabus. Ahhhh teaching for me has gone sub standard in B.Com and MCA. I remember the first period that i attended my MCA class. It was maths paper, she was teaching about Elements or something similar. There i was staring at the black board clueless as to what is being taught. The teacher hadn't bothered to ask the students as to what kinda maths background they came from. I personally came from a business maths background, which means there is less complexity when compared to the maths taught for engineering students. The end result after three attempts and a tuition class two days per week i was able to clear the paper in my 4th attempt. I can just keep going on and on and on and on about this shit teachers who taught me in MCA. Some of them are just plain pathetic freaks who couldn't construct a proper sentence in English. God help those who join Madras University. Take my advice don't join the correspondence division of Madras University. But if you have already joined, throw you material in the dustbin (that's their deserving place) and spend some bucks and buy the recommended reading material and don't bother attending any class, its not like those guys are going to teach you anything good. I am gonna retire for now, gotta work you see.I hope i finish some of the coding today at least for my conscience sake i need to finish it.
As of today 9:15 am and odd i am officially an uncle :D. My sister gave birth to two little girls. No photos so far, might get it in couple of days and upload it here.
Welcome to this Big Bad and Sometimes Nice World little ones.
No issues your uncle is here to help you (H) he he he
This song is dedicated to BSNL, Madras University and all those Government run Institutions where customer's are considered a pile of shit and looked down upon. Enjoy this song, its by metallica and i swear to GOD ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU WILL SUFFER FOR YOUR INCOMPETENCY YOU DAMN STUPID IMPATIENT MORONS
*****Song Start*********************
Die, die, die my darling
Dont utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty eyes
Ill be seeing you again
Yeah, Ill be seeing you, in hell
So dont cry to me oh baby
Your futures in an oblong box
Dont cry to me oh baby
You should have seen it a-coming on
Dont cry to me oh baby
I dont know it was in your card
Dont cry to me oh baby
Dead-end soul for a dead-end girl
Dont cry to me oh baby
And now your life drains on the floor
Dont cry to me oh baby
Die, die, die my darling
Dont utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty mouth
Ill be seeing you again, yeah-yeah
Ill be seeing you, in hell
Dont cry to me oh baby
Your futures in an oblong box
Dont cry to me oh baby
You should have seen it a-coming on
Dont cry to me oh baby
I dont know it was in your card
Dont cry to me oh baby
Dead-end soul for a dead-end girl
Dont cry to me oh baby
And now your life drains on the floor
Dont cry to me oh baby
Die, die, die my darling
Dont utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Shut your pretty mouth
Ill be seeing you again
Ill be seeing you, in hell
Die-die-die
Die-die-die
Die-die-die
*****Song End*********************
Just got my salary credited to my a/c. I would need to do something about the HRA and stuff, otherwise this would be the single biggest wrong decision i have taken in my life. God help me, coz i have no idea what to do :|
Its long time since i posted anything here. I have been intending to post something technical here but i really have not got the time or the patience to do it yet. Maybe when i start working from home i will find more time and patience(he he) ;-). Before i go, i wrote this poem couple of years back(2004 to be exact), its called Feelings. It might not be a biggy for you but it certainly was for me when i wrote it
Feelings tearing me apart, bit by bit, I am not sure what to do now
To control them i want to, to show them i want to,
But unable to comprehend why I am unable to
Sometimes i ask my conscious the question, why me
and it shoots back asking why not you
If i show them , i will lose her
If i don't show them, i will lose myself
I immerse myself with thoughts of her beauty
and cry tears of blood with thoughts of failure
Why can't i be more strong like others
Why do i have to be so weak, so pathetic, so useless
why why, the question for which i have no answer
Keeps popping in my mind every now then
Disturbing my sleep, my peace of mind, my life
So many night's spent so lonely with despair
Nights that I have cried with no shoulders to spare
The only shoulders i need are far away
Too far too distant in the horizon, for me to reach them
I want to tell her everything, everything in my heart
But fear grips my throat real tight
what if i lose her, what if she rejects me
what if, what if, the question for which i have no answer
keeps popping in my mind every now then
Disturbing my sleep, my peace of mind, my life
Drying me, like the scorching sun sucks water out of a pond
She seems to be very essence of my life
made me happy, made me a stand up for myself
made me the man that I am today
Sad to know, she won't be mine tomorrow
One day my life will end, so will my misery
Don't know if misery will follow me to the netherworld
cause if it does, can somebody please help get it off me
where ever she is tommorrow, let her be happy
her happiness is what will make me happy
sadness will dwell deep within my heart
making me cry every now and then, but what else can be done
fate is our master, who rules without mercy.
Mercy, let me have mercy at the netherworld
Feel free to post comments/suggestions about this post. That's it for now gotta work on the progress dialog for my applicaton.
I wrote this when i was seriously working on my radar/spider chart control. I seriously need to make my mind concentrate on one task at time. Comments and thoughts are welcome
Jeeyonga teri bhaon mae, maronga teri bahon mae
Jaaneja, tum mile, zindagi mil gayi
Dard kae asovae sae bara hua yae aankhen
Aab kushiyon kae asovae sae bara hua hae
Jee raha hu tumarae liyae, yae jaaneman
Muhabaat hae tumsae, vaada kartha hoon mae
saath nahi chodanga teri janam janam ke liye
The above is written in Hindi, if you need an english translation, please do mail me, i will see if i can do some translation :-)
Received this in my mailbox today from GP. It's a classic example of shunning or ignoring responsibilities. Here's the image, not sure which place is this though.
I wanted to wait till i got the official documents from the old company. I resigned two days back from ACS and joined IBM India yesterday as Senior Software Engineer. In a gap of a year i have gone from working for small company to one of the biggest companies in the world. Two years back, i never thought i would have the opportunity to work for IBM. Anyways, i got that dream realised now i gotta realise the MCAD dream. If you are wondering what that is, i have been planning to finish the MCAD certification for the past two years :(. Yeap, for the past two years, i have postponed writing that exam. Now i cannot postpone more, once i am done with my MCA exams, i will start with the MCAD papers. I can only hope i get through them with good marks. I gotta go now, the induction programme is today afternoon. Gotta attend those stuff, not sure why, but what the heck attend i will. Anyways I am happy with what i have right now and that's what counts in life ;-). Being happy in life is what counts :-)
The week has been pretty hectic. Didn't get a chance to blog all week except maybe for a day. Finally tomorrow my package will be release to the local public . Hopefully everything should go well.
After i finished my packaging work i read some comic's from http://thecomicproject.blogspot.com/. It was really refreshing to read some of the old Phantom comics that i grew up with. The blogger has also posted Madrake the Magician, he was another favourite of mine. Spent sometime reading, then my TL came online and we started fixing and discovering the bugs in the package. All seems to be well now, he has just said the package is all set to go and he is updating the main production server. I only hope all goes well with the user's also and they are able to use the tool effectively. OKAY!! i gotta go now, back to home to my room to play some games and do some .net programming. One of these days i gotta post some articles of technical nature in this blog. OK there's a long time for that. Gotta JETTT Nowwwwwwwwwww!!
Its been sometime since i posted and here goes. The weekend went well. Didn't do anything fruitful as usual. I was just lazing around the house and played some games and ate a lot. I recently started going to the Gym and trust me going to the gym is no kid stuff. I have to getup at 5:00 am and walk around 2.5 km's to the gym. There they give a variety of workout for each of muscle in the body. Well since i just started, i thankfully don't have to do it all and i gotta do some exerciese's for my Abs(stomach muscles) and my tripceps and biceps(Read hand muscles). The routine is fairly simple to say but very breath taking. Yep, after the routine i gotta lay down for 5 minutes to catch my breath. I gotta keep doing this till i my body gets the hang of it.
I mentioned games somewhere in my post above, i am gonna comment one game that i played over the weekend. The game's name is Indian Jones - The infernal machine. It's one hell of game, i was playing only a demo level and it seems fun so far. One of these days, i will have to cough up some cash buy that game and play the whole game. It looks interesting and from what i have played it promises to be interesting. I hope to get it say in december. I should have finished my exams by then and i will have lots of time to sit and play games.
Talking about exams, i gotta start taking down the syllabus and search google for some good material on it cause the material that the university gave me is downright rubbish and pathetic and stupid and put a lot of angry bad adjectives here. Pathetic i tell you, for the money we give them, they oughta get us atleast some good material. I sincerely hope to find some good stuff in google otherwise i am doomed in this exam also. Govindaaa Govindaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. OKay i gotta go now, gotta do some packaging and installation.
As per a friend's (vbcity member) suggestion i have downloaded windows live writer for my blogging needs. All looks good so far, it has a simple interface and it mirrors to word i guess. I will be blogging later more about trip to mahabaleshwar yesterday, till then see ya'll later
Just one last post before i go. This link has a interesting take on one of my beleiefs. In the whole article, the author is talking about fate and choices that we as a human being take or should i say are forced to take. One of my long time beleief is that the most sophisticated computer ever created is us The Humans. We built the computer and essentially we are more powerful than the computer(machine). Yes the computer might have faster processing capabilites but we have something that the computer lacks. A event in a computer can only be so random and can be predicted to an extent what the computer's next move would be (unless you are being shot at or electrocuted ;-)), but with humans you cannot predict what's going on in the big thinking machine called mind. Okies enough rants and ramblings for today. I will leave you people at peace for now. This is an interesting topic, maybe i will write something on this later when time permits.
Just installed Qumana. Just got the whole setup done in this tool and i will be using this tool from now onwards to do my blogging, i find it a bit of a pain to open my IE or FireFox and login to blogger and do the posting. Guess i am mr lazy pants ;-). I would prefer Firing up a UI and just typing my stuff and do the publishing work. Ok now that i got it setup i expect do more blogging as well ;-). Anyways i gotta be gonig now, got lots of script to write and test.See you all later then. Be good and Do good :).
Expectations are a funny thing in life. The definition for Expectation in WordWeb(Local Dictionary) is as follows
1. Belief about (or mental picture of) the future
2. Wishing with confidence of fulfillment
3. The feeling that something is about to happen
4. The sum of the values of a random variable divided by the number of values
None of the above meets of what I perceive expectation is except the first one. A lot of people have told me “Never expect things”. In this way I will never get disappointed in life. Even though I have stopped expecting things to happen, somewhere deep inside that nature has not changed. Not sure why but when friends don’t do thing’s I expect them to do, I get disappointed especially if it’s a new or old friend. I am going to stop my rant on this cause I know it’s absolutely meaningless to talk about this because compared to other things in life its pretty small and I will not let it take over mind. I have got better things to do in my life.
If you are new to this blog (you definitely are) you might be getting confused a lot. Well what do I have to say for this!!
Welcome to My World :D
Nothing is straight in this except for the person who regularly reads my blog (H) ;-). You know you are. My world is more similar to the parallel universe that superman encountered in one of his adventures, but not as dangerous as that but nevertheless some things are upside down and I like it that way.
The person who regularly reads my blogs just sent me a link. It promises to be an interesting one. Anyways I got to go now, see you all people later then. Be good and do good people ;-)
Yes, this is vikram and I am still alive and well. It’s been long time since I posted anything in my blog, a really long time I must say, say around 2 months. Anyways that's the past and I hope to be a regular rambler in my blog from now and I hope this is not one of my promises that I intend to forget. Sigh! One can only hope.
Anyways coming back to the events in my life, it has been pretty hectic in my office and in my personal life. Lots of stuff has happened since the last time I posted. For one I am not a contractor anymore which is a huge relief for me. I will be joining the company for whom I worked as a contractor in another month or so. More detailed news on that later. Another news in the pot is my crypto library for File/Folder protector is nearly done except for the comments and some minor refactoring. I am happy that I was able to complete it, kind of makes feel good. There are lots of projects for me in the pipeline; I just simply can't find time for the projects. Would need to handle to one by one guess. Now I got to finish that billing application today, if not fully at least the database connection and querying part I got to finish. That's a high priority project for me right now. This weekend me and rommie have plans to go for a small tour so might not be able to touch much code the weekend. So its better that I do some coding tonight and do some catching up with the project. In other news i have planned to join a Gym and improve my Oh so Hot body to a even hotter one. The instructor in the Gym I have the height but not the weight: O, can you believe it; she said I don't have the weight. I always thought I had the weight, oh well we can't have everything in life can we ;-). Ok expect another post from me be evening , I got to go and finish some minor script updates to Wise installation script. Will be posting after that. See you all after that.
Long time since i wrote anything in my blog. Anyways i was reading this and found it pretty interesting. I am basically a commerce graduate and the math that i have studied is mostly business maths (Statatics type). I vaguely remember studying calculus and algebra, i have absolutely no idea what they are and how they are done. Probably when i get some free time after my current work i am planning to scout for some good high school math books and sharpen my maths knowledge. Anyways there's a long time left for that.
Other news updates in my life, on a personal side, life is not really smooth. Have some real bad problems but i hope to get it resolved in couple of months
or sooner. What's the point worrying about it when you cannot do anything about. I can only hope for a better solution to all my problems.
In office life has been very hectic, atleast i think it's hectic. There is a release schedule in first two weeks of August. Once that is done, i will get some freetime to concentrate on god knows what.
On the .net side, i am fully done with Crypto module update, there are some minor fixes that i need to put. I will be putting them and giving the code to Mike and Ivan for them to have a look. Then i am planning to release the mod alone in VBCity and i am hoping member's there would help me to test and help me to fix bugs and so on. It will another 2 or 3 weeks for this to happen or maybe more, it all depends on what i get first, the broadband or the pen drive :S.
Just thought I'd update the status on the crypto module that i have been working on for a file/folder protector application. The current status is, its nearly complete and will be avaliable for testing (only the crypto module) probably in two or three weeks. I will get some time to do a unit/regression test on it this weekend and also planning to implement a small logging facility for the module. I checked Log4net but its way too complicated for my use so will be writing a small logger for this module and also which will be integrated into the IDN namespace once Michael gives the nod ;-). Anyways that's the update so far, will keep the blog posted on any changes i do in that module.
A poem i got in my mail, couple of days back :)
When I saw your name next to mine,
In our wedding card,
I felt blessed.
When I saw you smile,
Seeing me in the traditional bride groom dress,
I felt teased.
When I held your hand,
During the marriage rituals,
I felt responsible.
When you entered my lonely bachelor life,
And changed it into a heavenly abode,
I felt lucky.
When you showed the same love as I did,
Towards my parents,
I felt proud.
When you scolded me,
For neglecting my heath amidst my hectic work,
I felt pampered.
When I saw you scream,
Crying out of labor pains,
I felt helpless.
When I saw tears of happiness in your eyes,
As you looked at our kid,
I felt blessed once again.
All these feeling have bloomed in my heart,
But are yet to blossom in reality.
As these are feelings I long to feel,
For these are still unfelt.
Will you marry me ???????????
As for rains, it is not taking the name of stopping. The river or canal under the bund garden bridege is slowly filling up. If the rain continues for another 3 days then the bridge will submerge. Mumbai is already filling up and according to news reports yesterday's paper pune has already received its half its share of rainfall this year. To think it has only started raining, i simply can't comprehend what will be the state of roads if more rains are expected. The meteorlogical department says it will rain more. Lets wait and see if it really does. In other news, i have been told that i won't be moving out of pune for sometime. I initiall wanted a transfer to chennai but that doesn't seem feasible right now. Transfer to bangalore is not possible at all. So that's the news from my side for now. Gotta go and do some work ;-).
This is second day since it started raining. The roads in pune have started showing their real color. Its potholes and potholes everywhere. I came in the public transport today and the bus was swaying left and right in the potholes so badly that i felt as if i was travelling in a ship. I wonder when, pune government is gonna wake up and build roads like the ones we have in the camp road and the military area. Its really pathetic out there on the roads, especially where i stay (Hadapsar). I wonder when this all is gonna change :(.
p.s. I also wonder when i will stop wondering like this.
Its brand new day but nothing much has changed. I am still banging away my head on the bug that my TL found in my application. Not sure its my code or if its the control. Anyways got lots of time to check it out. It seems michael is busy redesigning the site. Kudos to him and he is planning to put some sort of CMS system so that the site maintenance comes down a bit. Anyways gotta wait to see the full design of the site ;-). All the best mike :). Okay gotta go now and deal with bug :-(.
This would be my first blog post. Let's see if i am able to post everyday or atleast once a week ;-)
